blog...mythbuster-style!

     'Indecisive women'.  The simple task of picking a restaurant to eat at opened my eyes to the importance of blogging about stereotypes.  You've had the conversation, 'where do you wanna go?'~~ 'I don't care, where do you wanna go?'  This may be old fashioned, but isn't the man supposed to be the leader and the decision maker?  Should this conversation be less about me and more about your level of manliness?  Shouldn't a man be happy with the fact that he can choose to eat whatever his little heart desires?  Maybe we aren't being indecisive.  After all, we "indecisive women" are busy thinking about all the other petty, unimportant things we have to make decisions about.  Like the lives of your 3 children.  I decide what they will be eating for 3 meals a day plus snacks, that's a minimum of 12 feedings in case you lost count.  Then I decide to cook it so they don't starve.  Then I decide to have them brush their teeth so they don't rot out of their mouth.  Then I decide to clothe and groom them so they are clean and less prone to sickness and infection.  I decide to clean the house so everybody has a healthy environment to live in.  I decide teach my children morals and values so they grow up to be all that they can be.  I decide to play with my kids and tell them that I love them so they don't grow up to be serial killers.  I decide to show them how to do chores so they are not lazy down the road.  I decide to teach them things, like how to read, write and add, so they are not illiterate and can function in the world.  I decide to put them to bed at night, so that they can all wake up well rested the next day and prepared to have me make all of their decisions for them, all over again.  All 3 of them.  So I'm thinking, maybe we are just sick of making in excess of 1,000 decisions a day, so when it comes to something like where to eat dinner, I don't care.  I'm just happy I'm not cooking it!!!  P.S.  If you're asking me where to eat, then you don't know either, making you equally indecisive. 
     'Women are weak'.  On the way back from dinner (the establishment I chose, by the way) I told my husband I wanted these little mini Christmas tree things cut down in my front yard.  I asked him to provide a chainsaw for me to do it with.  He chuckled, and not just on the inside, which was his first mistake.  I told him I wasn't an idiot, the things are so small a butter knife could probably do the job.  He laughed again and told me I would need practice before I "just went out there chopping trees down".  I informed him that I wasn't going to go out front acting as if I were a greenhorn, I know how to be careful, and that I could handle it.  He ended the conversation by telling me he would do it.  That means they will be full blown pine trees before they are ever cut down.  That's not how it's going down.  I will get a chainsaw.  I will be cutting the trees down in all my protective gear wearing, blue collar glory.  One thing you should never tell me is that I can't do it.  Then it becomes less of a task and more of a dare.  There are better odds I get killed by some sort of assassin caterpillar out there, than me cutting my own arm off.  My point here is, why do men think women are incapable of things like this?  It's absurd.  I'm almost 5'3", Jimmy has friends smaller than me, (male ones), and I don't see him running to their house to prevent them from mowing their lawns! So clearly it's not a size thing.  Then what is it?  Oh yeah...I'm a chic!  I can't do manual labor!  I don't know what got into me!  I can't wait to see the look on his face when he comes home from work and those trees are gone.  Sweet, sweet, victory.  I birthed 3 people, how's that for manual labor?!?
     'Typical jealous women'.  I have to agree that these do exist, but speaking on behalf of myself and millions of other smart women out there, maybe it isn't jealousy.  I think it's brains.  Just an example, perhaps planning your buddies bachelor party at a strip club sounds like a good idea to a man.  I would never tell my husband not to go because I'm jealous.  Nope, I would tell him he's not going because I am smart.  Those girls want your money and will do what it takes to get it.  Your not staying home because their boobs are showing, your home because your ability to keep your money may be clouded by the fact that their boobs are showing.  Your welcome, now you'll have the money to retire one day!    
     'The wifey's PMS-ing'.  Sometimes, this may be true.  Some ladies do have it bad.  Instead of getting all pissy pants about their bad mood, just be glad it's not you losing bodily fluids all day and having major stomach cramping.  How about, bring them home a sixer and take the kids outside for a few?!  What you don't want to do is accuse your lady of being crabby cause it's that time of the month.  For all you know, she didn't get that promotion, then came home to the kids, to find they had cut her face out of all your wedding pictures to use them for a mommy collage, which they taped to her favorite shirt, and then stapled to the most expensive curtains in the house.  Followed by a food fight, someone cutting their hair off, some vomit, a broken toe, and a round of screaming sword fighting to top it all off.  Be kind, and since life has no rewind, take the load off of her for a little bit, instead of walking in the door talking about how sitting quietly in your air-conditioned car in traffic prevented you from arriving home five minutes sooner.  I'll guarantee she'd take sitting in traffic over another nose bleed session any day.  How about we start telling men to quit PMS-ing when they come home from happy hour talking about how their buddies girl problems are really hard to listen to (over a few beers).
     'Women aren't as smart as men'.  Another one that is true, in some instances.  But there are definitely women out there who are smarter than men.  Like those 'dumb' women who try to tell you it's important to check the fluids in the car and check it for leaks.  That seems dumb until your car overheats and you have a blown head gasket.  I apologize if there is a man reading this and didn't understand what I just said.  For the women, you may know what I'm talking about, if you don't, no worries!  Nobody expects you to know it anyways!  Some women do know a little something.  But I have to say, man's attitude has made it a much simpler existence for us!  If I want to go outside and work on a car, good for me.  If I don't I can just pretend I don't know what's going on, and poof, I'm out of it.  If I get pulled over, I can just pretend I don't know what he means by registration or speedometer, and poof, I'm out of it!  If I don't want to pump my gas or check my own tire pressure, I just say I don't know how, and poof,  If I'd rather sleep than navigate, I pretend I can't read a map, and poof!  The kitchen sink has a leak?  I don't know how to do that either!  Seriously though, men do the same exact thing.  That's why you never see them changing a diaper after they just built a house.  They pretend they can't figure it out, and poof!  We get out of doing way more than men do, which just might prove, we're smarter.  
     Don't take me too seriously here, my point is..men: don't stereotype us!  Haven't you figured it out yet?  We're always right!     Later y'all!  ~Jovial Jess