Where's my mute button???

     It's been a while!  Life is just too busy sometimes!  Reminds me of an article going around facebook lately.  A lady wrote to a paper asking a question about how stay at home moms are so busy.  Quite frankly the lady was a condescending wench.  I wish that question came with a name, cause I'd like to meet her in a dark alley one night.  I get so angry when the job I do is regarded as less than any other job because it doesn't come with a paycheck.  I know I am super lucky to be able to stay home with my kids, but that doesn't mean that I don't want to work or that I haven't sacrificed.  What I do is work.  Raising children isn't sitting on a couch watching TV all day.  It's a lot of work, thought, effort, analyzing and patience.  I'm responsible for teaching 3 kids how to be independent and self-sufficient, how to read, write, work hard, be good people, with good morals and values, show them what the important things in life are, how to treat people, not to argue...the list goes on.  It's all day every day.  Some people just consider you lucky and lazy.  I would love to go back to work.  I sacrifice that to stay home with the kids.  My household would benefit from a second income just like anybody else's would.  There are plenty of things I don't have because of that decision.  But you do what you can for your kids.  We have found a way to do it, but it isn't easy.  You have to take the good with the bad.  Everybody in this world has a job to do.  The guy who sits at a desk all day may not always work as hard as a construction worker, but I don't judge him.  It takes all kinds to make the world go round...and no job is more important than another.  The daycare lady could raise my kids and get more credit than me, just because she's paid to do it!  It's the same thing people!  On the same note, I know quite a few working mothers and I see how hard that can be too.  They deserve all the credit in the world.  They have to do most of the same things I do plus another job outside of the house, and they miss their kids too.  And it's just as much of a sacrifice for them because they work for their kids just like I stay home for mine.  Whether they need the second income or they are single moms, they sacrifice being with their kids to provide for them.  At any rate, to each their own and condescending idiots can keep their opinions to themselves!!

    Now that I got that rant out of the way, time for next one!  I have been relentlessly HARASSED about box tops since school started.  Day in and day out my kids are up my butt with "buy more stuff with box tops,  we NEED MORE box tops!"  I have been patient, today was the last straw.  As they were getting ready for school it started again.  ~Mom, we need you to cut these box tops now, did you buy more gogurt yet?  I started yelling.  "That's IT!  If I hear one more word about box tops -EVER, I'll end your life!  You will never SEE another fruit roll up, you'll forget what yogurt tastes like..I won't even take you to the store!"  That shut them up, and then when they came home from school I experienced a short lived moment of joy like no other.  They told me that the school contest for box tops was over now.  I was so happy.  UNTIL I saw the prize Lexi's class won for collecting the most.

I couldn't believe it.  Noisemakers.  Are you kidding me?  I had to hear them whine about collecting these things for 2 month's and this is the thanks I get.  I thought maybe Lexi's teacher had some sort of personal vendetta against me, but she can't hate every parent in the class.  After about 2 hours of hearing this thing non stop I gave Lexi a look from hell.  My plan was to break it after she went to bed, I think she knew, because she hid it.  This may sound like terrible parenting to you.  Go ahead and think that.  Leave me your name, I'll be sure to mail one to your kid when Christmas rolls around.
     I was eavesdropping on Dana singing this evening.    And I quote, " It's not that good of a life, not that good of a life, until you have Burger King for breakfast."  I thought to myself, well isn't that terrific.  If she thinks life's bad now, wait until she has to work at Burger King.
    
     Nate refuses to say Mama, and not because he can't either.  He does it to torture me.  He thinks it's funny.  He will say Dada for hours, here is a short video so you can see for yourself.  Also, you'll want to watch cause he's so stinkin cute!

If his foot looked dirty, it was a shadow.  Trust me, because MY kids are always impeccably clean.  ;)

     It amazes me how easily your kids can make you look like an idiot.  Lexi put Steeler's tattoo's on her face a couple weeks ago, they were on upside down.  It was a Sunday and I wasn't going to make them scrub the crap off of their faces just for school, so they went to school with them on Monday.  Lexi's teacher, who happened to graduate with my husband, asked her why they were upside down.  Lex told her it's because her Dad did it, and he doesn't know what he's doing.  HAHA!  A girlfriend of mine had her son pull his pants down and show a cashier his business when he was about 2.  One day when the girls were little (Lexi 2, Dana 1)  I was babysitting April's son Kaden(also 1).  I spied on them from the hallway as they played on their Little Tykes slide.  They were taking turns and being good.  Lexi was growing impatient because it took the little kids longer to get up the stairs, and I watched in disbelief (followed by tons of laughing) as she said, "Hur-ry up, fuckersssss!"  I laughed in the hall for several minutes before I could go in and punish her with a straight face.  Like the time at Christmas when she was 3.  Her grandma had wrapped up a package of new underwear with this storybook toy.  It was a stuffed bible guy, that looked like he was wearing a backpack(or what looks like a pillow- to a kid), and inside the backpack was a book.  Lexi tears into the package, and very excitedly yells, "I got undies and a man with a pillow!!"  I about spit out my drink!  She's not allowed to get excited about that until her wedding night.  Most people think I am wishful thinking, but I believe in dictatorship type parenting.  My dad had to catch me sneaking out, so I know to bolt my kids windows and screens shut BEFORE they start sneaking out.  I bet I can still buy a chastity belt on Ebay, and GPS tracker ankle bracelets and at home drug testing are good options also.  Am I taking this too far?  I think not!  (wink wink)  Will my kids hate me?  Most definitely.  Does that mean I'm doing my job?  Yes.  I guess none of us wants our kids doing the things we did, and I know the secret.  NEVER trust your kids.  So that is my plan.  Remember chaperoned dates?  Me either.  But my kids will know what they are.  If you ask my girls today when is an appropriate age to date and get married they will tell you, at least 30.  I have been actively convincing them that arranged marriage is where it's at.  (If they fall for this- I already have 2 boys picked out for them...coming straight out of the Farmer household, where they are being raised to be impeccable husbands and fathers.)  Okay, I joke everybody.... kinda.
  
     I've employed a new form of punishment for Lex and Dana, they hate it.  They have to write whatever they do bad, 25 times.  I've found it's a huge time saver for me, now I don't have to stop what I'm doing to beat butts, or remember to watch the clock so a kid can take their nose off the wall.  If you've read the blog about my little brother, Josh...then you understand why I'm so strict with my kids.  In fact the girls think Josh is one of them.  They don't even realize we're the same age.  Kind of like Dad's.  I'm sure some of you have this problem.  "Dad is soooo great.  Oh!  Dad's home!  Let's have a parade and meet him before he even walks in the house to tell him how much we missed him and how fuuuuun he is!  Dad never gets us in trouble, Dad takes us to the park!  Dad said we could have the gum, we asked him cause we knew you'd say no!  Dad picked us up a special new toy on his way home from work!  Dad always gives us quarters for the gumball machine!  Dad is so cool he can light a fart on fire!"  I guess I'll stop there.  Where's my big ups from the little ones?  Dad's are like kids that can drive.  And they don't know how good they have it.  Today at dinner I said having kids has got to be similar to chinese water torture.  They all looked at me as if to say "You've got some balls sayin that to us".  No, if I had balls, I'd be appreciated and get days off.  But seriously, the repetitiveness is absurd.  I was kicked all through dinner.  Lexi asks so many questions that Jimmy calls her google.  Dana keeps leaning back in her chair, Nate's trying to escape his, which he does..every time.  I multitask more during dinner than one person should.  I cooked the food, how bout you let me eat it?!? 

     In other news, my little brother is having a baby (GO READ THE BLOG~ My little brother I call him Vanilla)  Pray for him and the sweet girl that has to raise what will probably be, the craziest child ever born.  I can't wait though.  I'm pretty excited about it!  So congrats to Josh and Nat! 

     That's all folks...for now!