I'm so thirsty today!

Sooo..my first blog in about a year and a half!  I read through my old blogs..and my life has changed a lot since my last blog.  I’ll get a blog going to update you on life as it is now…but while you wait here’s a little bit of my day today…

Before you start reading, you should know that initially this was intended to be an email for McDonalds, then I changed my mind cause when you email them, they only allow 1000 characters and I do what I want.

Visit to McDonalds:  Let me start by telling you about what led to my visit.  I was hungry.  You see I woke up at 5:30am and got myself ready for a long day of work and 3 kids ready for a day at their Aunt's house.  At 7am the kids are dropped off and I'm headed to job #1 at the physical therapy clinic.  I stop at good ole' McDonalds on my way, sit in the drive thru for 10 minutes and the drive thru girl hands me my large sweet tea, no straw.  I wait longer for a straw and my hash brown.  Which is handed to me in a bag, which I assume my straw is in.  I go to pull out.  I have to stop because there is a pedestrian crossing my path.  It’s the guy who ordered ahead of me.  As he passes my car he looks at me and says, “you better check your bag, their forgetful!”  He was clearly pissed.  (I don’t blame him, you go through the drive thru to avoid getting out of your car, duh) I didn’t check, I figure you can’t really screw up a hash brown.  I get on the interstate.  I discover I was wrong about the hash brown and I still had no straw.  The hash brown was burnt and hollow and came with pieces of other hash browns that were burnt as well. You know, kind of like Long John Silvers gives you little crispies, only these crispies I got weren’t going anywhere near my mouth.  So I roll down my window and toss the hash brown.  I do this for one reason only.  I hate birds and was willing to sacrifice my $1.06 to kill one, which in turn makes me feel a little better about the fact that I would be starving until lunch.  So I pick up my strawless tea.  No need to remove the lid because it popped off as soon as I touched it cause that’s what these awesome new lids those cheap donkeys are using do.  I take a drink.  Mmmm extra sugar, yay!  I wanted to drink syrup for breakfast, how did you know?  I thought about tossing that out the window too, but I decided to keep America beautiful and focus on ways to boycott McDonalds.  So as previously mentioned I was hungry and didn’t get a lunch today.  BONUS!! (aside from 3 tic-tacs).  After I leave job #1, it’s off to job #2 ~cleaning someone’s house.  I am the sweatiest chic ever and dehydrated from no drink aside from the swig of sugar that morning.  Off to job #3, still hungry.  I clean house #2.  I’m sweatier than I was, it’s 4pm, still hungry and still thirsty.   Job #4 cleaning windows.  Nothing says “you’re going to die soon” like 90 degree weather and a 24 foot ladder on an empty stomach.  It’s 6pm, still hungry, still thirsty, have to pick up my kids.  On the way I decide to put some chap stick on.  I take the cap off and white fluid flies all over my car.  My chap stick melted in the heat. That’s the second time this month.  I’m home at 7.  I chug nearly a half gallon of water so I might live.  I give my kids edible food because my name is Mom and not McDonalds.  I let them play outside while I unload said ladder and a multitude of other work items I had in my car.  I clean up their mess, start some laundry and realize I’m still hungry.  At this point I’m too tired to think about cooking something so I decide that I should go to the car wash and vacuum my car and go to Wendy’s for my dinner.  I get in the line at Wendy’s, which is wrapped around the place.  I wait.  I pull out, thankfully I still had that option.  Once you get closer you’re trapped by a curb and can’t leave, so I felt lucky that I was smart enough to escape that nightmare.  Subway is next door, I’m totally going there.  I go to pull in when some girl who can’t drive throws it in reverse and nearly takes me out as I start pulling in.  I bob and weave like the expert driver that I am and narrowly escape a car accident which would have undoubtedly led to a fist fight and an arrest. Subway’s out.  Oh boy one option left…McDonalds!  Here we go.  I sit in the drive-thru, which has 2 lanes.  I’m at the speaker, ready to order, but they take 4 cars at the other speaker before I am waited on.  Them- “can I take your order?”  Me- “yes, can I have a #1 with a large sweet tea and a stra~” (interrupted by) Them- “A NUMBER ONE AND WHAT?”  Really? Me- “a large sweet tea and a strawberry banana smoothie”  (interrupted by) Them- “Is that all?”  Me- “uhhh can you change that medium sweet tea to the large one I ordered?” Them- “WHAT?”  Me- “yeah.” I pull around.  Wait like 8-9 minutes.  I pay.  Wait like 5-6 minutes.  I’m at the window.  My bag of food is just sitting there.  I shut my car off, clearly this is going to take a while.  After 4 minutes of letting my food sit there some skank hands me my number 1 and a medium tea.  I ask for large for 2 reasons.  1: I’m super thirsty. 2: It fits in my cars drink holder.  Thank you morons.  Drive-thru skank tells me I am waiting on my smoothie.  Clearly genius.  I see them messing with the machine and I know that’s not good.  They hand it to me, I ball out.  The smoothie is gross looking, like water,  McDonald’s has balls of steel handing me some shit like that.  I’ve been working in 90 degree weather all day, I know I’m out of daiquiri mix at my house, that was the next best thing.  I give it to Dana, that kid will drink anything.  I get home.  I open my big mac.  McDonalds’ balls just got bigger.  There is a straight up finger sized hole through the top bun, the meat is all chopped up like they couldn’t get it off the grill, no onions and the only lettuce was a piece of the hard gross lettuce from the center.  Yum.  I gave it to Dana, that kid will eat anything.  I went to drink my MEDIUM tea.  I took 2 sips, the tea was gone.  It’s just a cup full of ice.  Awesome.  I go to the fridge and chug some more water.  I’m still thirsty and I’m still hungry but I don’t care anymore.  I’ll try eating again tomorrow. 

 Nate is next to me relentlessly asking, “swing me around, swing me around”.  I’m thinking about doing it, but 2 things are stopping me.  A: He’ll keep asking for more. B:  I’ll pass out from malnutrition.  I think it’s bedtime for these kids.

 I just remembered that I left my step ladder and some used up paper towels on the front lawn of cleaning job #2.  That’s professional.    

Going to try to get back to blogging again y’all!  My next one might be titled, “balling a station wagon” ha!